Thank you for the sickness

As I sat here contemplating the writing of the traditional "what am I thankful for this year" blog post, I found an item that surprised me. Foremost, of course, I am thankful for my renewed fellowship with God. Then, for new friends, new drive to do His will, continued employment, and so forth. As I went over my year, I considered my sickness last week, it not being muddled up like events further in the past. I realized that my sickness is like a crystal clear window into where I am now; being "squeezed" revealed what is essential and what is optional. Without such windows, it is easy to hide the truth from myself.

Be Still

As I was coming home from eating, today, I was thinking. About how many people aren't ready to hear about God until some tragedy strikes them, and why this is. Then I realized that the time that I felt closest to God, before this year, was when I was riding the bus to work and walking 40 minutes from the bus stop to work. It wasn't a tragedy, but it was time when I wasn't so busy. When I got a car is when I fell away from fellowship with God; I suddenly had so much time for meaningless things instead of "wasting" so much time sitting and walking. That's when it hit me; "Be still and know I am God."

"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortess;
Psalm 46:10-11

I've mentioned Bible Study Fellowship to many of you. Among other things, it involves daily individual study. It's a seven year course, each year studying a single book or range of books. I originally started BSF 7 years ago, as required by my mother at the time; this means that I'm studying the same thing now as back then. At the time, I almost always ended up squeezing 6 days of bible study into two hours on the bus to the weekly meeting.

This time is different. I soon made the restriction on myself that I would only do the questions for a day on the day for which they are meant. Since we share our answers in a small group each week, this means instant accountability. Between this, and my general commitment to do my daily bible study, I've managed to do it most days. Along the way, I've learned that I have to make it the first thing after work, or I'll let myself become too busy or too sleepy. Taking time each day, not letting myself be rushed and taking the time I need, the course has been so much more meaningful this year.

So many studies and people have asked "how much time do you devote to God each week", but I think a more important question is "How much time do you spend being still to know He is God each week?" So many times, previously, I was a clock watcher at church and during the lecture at BSF, so many times I let my worries and business creep into my time with God. Finally, I understand, that the most important thing is to let it be the most important thing; to be still and know He is God.