Just a man, who has found his savior

So I was reading blogs tonight, and came across one that pretty much reflected what I'm feeling now. Basicly, I've found that I'm sinking back into a WoW addiction under the guise of being in the world and relevant. Like an alcoholic playing a drinking game, I've found myself back in my old patterns of trying to keep ahead of my friends at the cost of all else. How skillfully the Deciever lures us to our weakness.

Up to this point, this blog has mostly showcased my trimuphs: pearls of wisdom set out for all to gaze upon. It's only nature to show your strength and hide your weakness; we need look no further than our house pets to know this is true. I created this blog because I had some things on my mind that I needed to tell others, but in fact on many occations I have used it to tell them to myself.

It seems that people have gotten the impression that I'm this well of wisdom. They say that I should blog more, that I should talk more. Since in my shyness I only talk when I am confident, its easy to see how that impression might come about. The truth is, for the most part, what I say is all I've got. The truth is that I'm just a man who has found his Savior. I will admit that there is something. By His love and grace, while I was still lost and confused, He poured into me much knowledge so that when I overcame my ordeal of confusion and saw the true scheme of things I would understand them more deeply. I thank Him from the bottom of my heart for this, but I don't thank Him enough.

While the confusion may be gone, the lost is not. There are days where I'm found and stand amazed at everything, then there are days when I'm lost and wondering how I got there. Most days measure someplace in between. My biggest weakness is my absolute weakness: I revel in the mountain top experiance, where everything is clear and it's impossible to get lost, but I fail to prepare myself for the valley, where it's easy to lose sight and go my own way. While I know what is true, while I know what it is that I need, still I often try to navigate on my own.

When I feel empty at the end of the day, when I realize that I'm charting my own course, I need to lay down everything and call to Him and listen for His voice, yet so often I don't.